Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ok, so I cried through the whole movie because so much of it related to my life. Only my life has different struggles and they seem so much more managable than having to live/surf with a missing arm. But still, sometimes I feel like a runner with a missing leg.
After a 6 week "cross-training only" layoff from running, I tried to slowly reintroduce my legs to running. As previously posted, I did a slow but mostly painfree 6.5 mile run a week ago. My next step was to attempt a light track workout a couple of days later. This went "ok" but did produce some pain. Because of the events I am training for, I went back to the track two days later for another workout. This one produced full and intense pain and I left the track limping and questioning why. "Why" a lot of things: Why is it not healed? Why did this happen when I desperately wanted to compete in this once in a lifetime race? Why do I run? On top of that I pondered how totally "done" I am with isolated cross-training. I want to run. I want to not hurt. At the moment I can't even walk without a limp. Regardless, I attempted another 6.5 mile run this past Saturday, and again a 6 mile hard run on Monday. I finished both in pain and today I am limping again.
No, none of this is as tragic as a shark attack, but the lesson of perspective has resonated with me this week. Looking at my situation up close leaves it blurred and I am unable to see the blessing in it. There is a blessing in everything. There is a reason; there is a way through; there is an end to the pain; there is another race waiting for me. I may not recover in time for the Masters World Track and Field Championships. If not, than it is what it is. What else can be done? My little world and my little life is still much bigger than any single solitary competition. Right?
So I am limping today but my perspective is fresher. I will do what I can do. If I can run tomorrow I will. If I can't than I will swim or aqua-run. By the way, doing hard aqua intervals and hard sprint swimming intervals is very near the perfect replacement for running. My fitness has truly remained intact ... just waiting for the tendon to heal. In the meantime, I will keep a healthy perspective.