Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Hi. My Name is Cindy. I'm a Runnaholic

So a man walks into Starbucks and asks, "So ... how's your leg?"  "Hmmm," I replied, "It's improving but still not quite there."  I went on to explain that I have been able to run more with less pain but the pain is still there.  Keeping in mind that this gentleman, a regular at the Starbucks I worked at, had already informed me multiple times that "You can't run through that injury," he then looked at me starkly and said ... "You are addicted to running."

A keen observation but yet a statement that can only come from the lips of a non-runner.  Should I be offended?  Was his comment derogatory?  Was he jealous or did he think me a fool?  I found the comment out of place.  After all, clearly I have not been "running" through this injury (I took 6 full weeks off and have only run intermittently since), but at this point in the recovery I find that running helps in the healing.  My explanation to this phenomenon is that use of the tendon helps with blood flow which otherwise is almost impossible to come by. 

So I said (to myself), "Thanks for the enlightenment.  Because of you I am inspired to reform my wicked ways.  From now on I will refrain from my obsession of running, become part of the middle aged junk food packing, sedentary status quo ... like you.  Today, instead of a healing run, I will attend a 12 step meeting and begin my life anew."  In reality I simply smiled and refrained from speaking my mind.

With certain injuries, the greatest value gained is patience.  In the meantime I am enjoying every one of the opportunities I have to cross-train and am thankful that I can at least do this.

My obsession, addiction and love of running was renewed as I attended the Semana Nautica 15K as a spectator.  My husband John, as well as the Moms in Motion team, which I have been working with, competed alongside many other special runners from our community and communities from afar.  It was a brilliant day and everyone participating in the race seemed so happy in their addictions.  It was a wonderful event from all vantage points and I yearned to partake of the painful pace.  It allowed me to feel close to what I love to do.

The term "addiction" has such a negative connotation.  It implies an unhealthy attachment to something.  It's funny how that term is rarely applied to things such as ... sugar, or caffeine, or bananas, or American Idol.  The truth is I have an attachment to running, but it is not unhealthy.  Do I need it?  Yes, but I also need sleep, water, air, food.  Running is healthy in 100 different ways and not all of them are physical benefits.  I also benefit spiritually, emotionally and mentally.  Running has given me a way to avoid the vices that otherwise would have filled that void, and my chances of escaping the fates of my mother and father who both died in their forties of lung and heart disease respectively, is multiplied exponentially.  And I enjoy it.  I truly enjoy all that running is.

So as I continue to heal, I am able to run up to four times per week now, and although I still land heavily on my right heel and do not yet have the mid-foot strike and airy lift that I am used to, I can still labor through it.  The pain is still there but it is less and it resolves more quickly afterwards.  I continue to mix it up with other activities, including stadium steps at the city college, but soon I will be back on the track and back on track.  Take that and stuff it in your coffee cup "Mr. Addicted to Starbucks."

Hi, my name is Cindy.  I am a runnaholic.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Yoga Bear and no more Boo Boo

No piiiicinik baskets here!  We have embarked on the world of yoga and pilates.  Note in photo number one (well, the only photo), Rip demonstrates a perfect example of the downward, reclining cat, while John struggles in his upward dog pose.  The Yin and the Yang if you will.

My yoga instructor had to, ahem, encourage me in my sideways tilt, and my lame knee won't allow me to do the basic "legs crossed" pose, so I modified.  Wow, is your leg supposed to bend like that?  Why do I want to do the "pigeon?"  I had to explain:  "I'm a runner."  "Oh," he says, "say no more.  Just keep coming to yoga, and you might want to try to roll out your fascia with a foam roller before class."  I'll keep that in mind.  I really will.

Let's not just add yoga, let's add pilates as well.  I've heard that's good for your core and butt.  Whew!  Need that for sure.  Not that it was totally too easy, or slow to progress, but after the first 15 minutes of "warm up" moves, I was feeling a little sleepy.  That is until I woke up this morning with sore everything.  Really?  Really?  It wasn't too bad when we swung our leg forward and backward a few times (boring!) but then, without rest or recovery, she made us hold it out behind and pulse (ouch!) and then without rest or recovery, out to the side, front circles, back circles, pulses (are you kidding me?), and then without rest or recovery, she MADE us contort our leg the other way ... more pulses.  That did wonders for my hip.  Then all over again on the other side.  Pilates are totally cool.

Without a doubt, the stretching and the natural form movements have already helped me.  My hip/low back irritation, inflammation stuff is so much better.  My knee shows very little swelling and is no longer an issue.  As I watched the yoga instructor kneel down to turn on the stereo, I noted that he bent his knees, both knees totally and comfortably.  I can't remember the last time I could do that.  Flexibility is a big part of overall wellness and fitness and I am looking forward to getting my downward pigeon stork working for me.

Cross-training continues but I was able to run a fairly brisk 11 miles last week on a slightly sore knee and still screaming achilles tendon ... but with each run it feels just a bit better and since I don't run that often, I am giving it time to heal.  Tonight I will run in the pool and do a set of 6 sprint 50's swim and some ab work and I will consider it a great workout.

I can't wait until I am able to get on the track for intervals or compete in a race, but until then I am trying to enjoy all the facets of fitness. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Just Another Rainbow, Just Another Pot of Gold

It can be challenging to write a blog about running when you haven't been able to do much running.  That's no excuse though, because there is always so much in the peripheral that can be written about.

Like for instance I could write about the few runs I have been privileged to do amidst injury recovery.  Each one (I can only mange one to two runs per week) is a blessing for which I am truly thankful.  One recent run was with a group of running buddies from San Diego on Memorial Day.  I miss running the challenging hills of San Elijo so when I have the opportunity, I try to take it.  There are always a few willing to join me (or actually a few that let me join them) and it is a blessed reunion and a time to catch up on everyone's recent races and events of life.  Thanks for letting me join you guys and I look forward to the next one.

I have also managed to do a Saturday run for the last 3-4 weeks which has climbed in mileage up to 10 and holding.  I figure, as part of my recovery mindset, that I will not attempt to go farther than this, but will do my best to enjoy the friendly 10 miles.  I crave more miles and I crave faster miles, but I am learning to be satisfied with reality.  In time everything will come back together for me and I will be a smarter runner.

While I have been encouraged by a healing achilles that is a bit less painful than it was, I have found myself dealing with another issue.  Perhaps it is an issue of a compensating injury but I can't know for sure.  About two weeks ago, on a Wednesday, I was at the dark, concrete prison of a gym sweating it out on the "cardio" machines.  I spent 6 miles (according to the computer read out) on the Stairmaster, and then another 3+ miles doing 1/4 miles intervals on the Elli.  I adopted these modes of cross-training about a month ago to give me reprieve from the pool (swimming and aqua-running).  Cross-training is supposed to be helpful, less impacting, and supportive of healing.  But on this Wednesday something didn't feel right afterwards.  I went to the track that evening to coach the Moms in Motion track workout and did a few easy laps during their warm up.  I felt awkward in my gait, heavy on one side, and generally much more out of sorts.  And it wasn't just a stiff achilles.

I later realized my right knee (which is the same leg as my achilles injury) was generally significantly swollen.  I did not injure my knee so I knew it was manifesting a different problem.  Since I am apt to self-diagnose, I soon learned (because it started sceaming at me) that my low back/right hip was tight, locked up, out of whack, tweaked ... these are official medical terms.  In my assessment, I had a flare up of some sort in this area which tightened muscles (maybe the piriformis) which in turn pulled my knee out of proper alignment enough to cause inflammation there as well.  I have a notable leg length discrepancy (functional leg length discrepancy) so I figure ultimately this is the culprit.

So the tight swollen knee on this day made my gait feel off but did not cause me pain.  However, the issue worsened until I not only had tightness and swelling, but also weakness, a sharp pain that ran the length of my posterior knee on occasion which was no doubt a pinched nerve somewhere in the mix, and it began to feel as though it was slightly out of joint/alignment and would, if I was lucky, pop back into place.  Then, as if that wasn't enough, it became painful to run.  At first it only "bothered me" during running, but this last 10 miler ended in complete pain and an inability even to bear weight.  I dragged my leg back the last mile just so I wasn't stranded away from my car.  My kinesiology tape totally came off during the first 6 miles and left my supported knee unsupported and loosey-goosey.  Let me vent - the stupid tape does absolutely no good if it's flapping in the wind.  It gets you half way through your run and leaves it up to you to figure out how to get through the second half.  It's a JOKE!  :) That's about as "venty" as I get.

All of this knee junk sort of peaked out this past Saturday and has since begun to subside as the inflammation in my hip has been resolving.  It was a chain reaction in the function of my right side and I sought to deal with the foundation of the problem as best I could. 

At this moment I'd be happy to have to deal only with an achilles injury, but to have another problem on top of that has been unspeakably frustrating ... especially considering that I haven't even been running much.  This happened while cross-training.

I think there is only so much a runner can take.  I am going to begin yoga this week and I'm encouraged that this will help me in a plethora of ways.  My muscles are likely imbalanced and tight from poor biomechanics due to an altered gait, and this has increased the discrepancy in my leg lengths, which has caused inflammation in my hip and back, which has resulted in tightened muscles and tendons ultimately affecting my knee.  I need my knee darn it.

Ice, Aleve, Traumeel, elevation and tape have been my close companions, and I've taken to almost constant stretching, twisting and torquing.  I see improvement.  Yes I realize that some sort of medical attention, Chiropractic adjustment regimen or physical therapy would be smart, but for the most part, those are not options for me right now. 

Wow.  I was kind of hoping to focus on the positive, so I hope there is something positive in all of this.  At the moment I am thankful to feel the knee/hip stuff resolve, and I'm glad I am finally motivated to begin yoga (something I've wanted to do for years but just haven't).  Another great thing is that John will do yoga with me so it will be something wonderful to share together. 

See, this whole thing is a big, beautiful rainbow with many pots of gold awaiting me.

And soon I will be running pain free again.  Yes.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Deleted but Not Out

I had to make the final decision to withdraw from the Masters Track and Field World Championship competition, a decision I was still dimly hoping I wouldn't have to make.  Now when I perouse the registration status of my events, I no longer see my name.  I officially withdrew and have been deleted.  With just a bit over a month to go before the meet, I still am not able to manage any type of quality run, and a lesser run leaves me limping for several days thereafter.  The timing of injuries will always and forever baffle me.

I won't deny that I am fully disappointed, but in the back of my mind I ponder that I may have other opportunities along these lines in the future.  Afterall, I am now a proud owner of a U.S. Olympic competition uniform and a member of USATF, and I have a sweet renewed interest in track and field competition which happens to be quite popular in Santa Barbara.

I am now focusing on training smart, though most of it comes in the form of cross-training.  I was attempting to run approximately every other day (only able to do about 3 runs per week), but even that plan has proved to be too much.  I had a nice, though painful 8 mile run last Saturday, and followed it up with a harder 6+ mile run on Monday, but have been in pain ever since.  So I refrained from the ground and hit the elliptical and water all the more but with some amount of frustration and anger.  If I am able to manage it, I will go for 10 miles on solid ground tomorrow.  That's just to maintain my sanity I think.

When random people see me limp (and trust me, I try not to limp) and ask why, my explanation it seems is always met with "advice."  Some will say, "Oh, you should try icing it."  Yah!  Duh!  Others will say, "Ohhhhh.  Gee I'm sorry.  Do you think it's ruptured?  Be careful."  Whatever!!  The one that hit me this week was, "Oh, those are bad.  You know you can't train through that.  You have to let it heal."  I let them know of my 6 week lay-off which left me no more healed than the day it happened.  I have had a San Diego running partner, ultra-marathoner genius, recommend and offer a trip to his therapist whom he swears by.  At my first opportunity I hope to try and see, and pray for a miracle.  Thank you for that Mike!

Anyway ... more than ever, I hate seeing people run when I can't.  And I despise the pain that plagues me when I try.  Feeling a bit like Achilles.  Is it not the most ironic and bizarre revelation that the Achilles tendon was named after the mythological hero Achilles who's only weakness was his "heel." 

I'm thankful for a strong training partner and coach in John.  He is the epitome of positive and keeps the swim workouts nice and hard, and inspires me with his growth as a runner.  I haven't even had the opportunity to lament the inadequacy of swimming in comparison to running.  The swims have just been so good and I've been able to stay fit.  I've recently added the elliptical into my routine and have found that an interval session on that bad boy can get my heart rate up to 170 bpm.  Drippy, drippy, sweaty, sweaty.  In time I will spend more time on the solid ground, but until then, plastic/metal, and H2O will suffice.  It could always be worse, right?

I've been deleted from the competition, but I'm far from out.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Getting Perspective

I watched a great movie over the weekend, Soul Surfer.  It's the true story of the young surfer, Bethany Hamilton who lost her arm in a shark attack.  The story highlights how she overcame this trauma, and for me it was truly inspiring (highly recommend the movie).  In the story, prior to her attack, she is at youth group and her youth leader was talking with them about perspective.  She showed a close up of an unknown item and asked for students to identify it.  When they couldn't figure it out, she showed an unzoomed version and it became clear what it was.  The lesson was:  to get the proper perspective, sometimes you have to step back and look at the whole picture rather than focus on the circumstances at hand.

Ok, so I cried through the whole movie because so much of it related to my life.  Only my life has different struggles and they seem so much more managable than having to live/surf with a missing arm.  But still, sometimes I feel like a runner with a missing leg. 

After a 6 week "cross-training only" layoff from running, I tried to slowly reintroduce my legs to running.  As  previously posted, I did a slow but mostly painfree 6.5 mile run a week ago.  My next step was to attempt a light track workout a couple of days later.  This went "ok" but did produce some pain.  Because of the events I am training for, I went back to the track two days later for another workout.  This one produced full and intense pain and I left the track limping and questioning why.  "Why" a lot of things:  Why is it not healed?  Why did this happen when I desperately wanted to compete in this once in a lifetime race?  Why do I run?  On top of that I pondered how totally "done" I am with isolated cross-training.  I want to run.  I want to not hurt.  At the moment I can't even walk without a limp.  Regardless, I attempted another 6.5 mile run this past Saturday, and again a 6 mile hard run on Monday.  I finished both in pain and today I am limping again.

No, none of this is as tragic as a shark attack, but the lesson of perspective has resonated with me this week.  Looking at my situation up close leaves it blurred and I am unable to see the blessing in it.  There is a blessing in everything.  There is a reason; there is a way through; there is an end to the pain; there is another race waiting for me.  I may not recover in time for the Masters World Track and Field Championships.  If not, than it is what it is.  What else can be done?  My little world and my little life is still much bigger than any single solitary competition.  Right?

So I am limping today but my perspective is fresher.  I will do what I can do.  If I can run tomorrow I will.  If I can't than I will swim or aqua-run.  By the way, doing hard aqua intervals and hard sprint swimming intervals is very near the perfect replacement for running.  My fitness has truly remained intact ... just waiting for the tendon to heal.  In the meantime, I will keep a healthy perspective.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Ray of Sunshine

I sat hunched over in the crack of sunshine that illuminated the east wall of Los Banos Pool.  It has been windy all week and today was no exception.  I shivered in my bathing suit, wet from my pre-pool shower.  Thankfully there was that ray of sunshine in which to wait.

I have a bitter-sweet relationship with the pool and this particular day was more of a bitter one.  Waiting for the swim club kids to exit the water, I noted that the surface was choppy from the wind and it was going to be crowded with master swimmers.  This meant I would have an extra challenge.  I would have to deal with water being splashed in my face and would have to stay out of everyone's way.  One of the older swimmers asked me if I was going to be walking in the water today.  Walking?  Does she see what goes on under the water?  Yah, basically I move forward about -.3 miles per hour, but ... walking?  I glared at the water and felt less than motivated.

This week marks the 6th consecutive in which I cross-trained and went entirely without a run on solid ground.  In that respect, my relationship with the pool would soon change.  If my recovery is successful, my pool runs will be replaced by land runs.  I would visit the pool only for swim sessions to supplement my training.  But, what if.

What if after 6 weeks, my achilles isn't healed enough, isn't strong enough.  It's do or die now.  I have 2 months to train for the World Championships.  I cannot afford even one more week off from running, so if I'm not healed, my dream may come to an end. 

When you have to let go of running for 6 weeks, I have found that it is best to truly let it go.  But there's a part of running you have to hold onto too.  Therefore, I look at it this way:  I am in training.  I have chosen to look at cross-training as training, rather than see it as a reduced form of exercise that I was confined to.  It has been liberating and has added to my mental confidence.

So Saturday was my first day to try running.  It was a big day, a huge day.  I ran with and amongst my Moms in Motion training group.  Since we are all different in pace, I found opportunity to run a bit with each of the others but also ran back and forth in between to make sure everyone made the right turns on the course.  Because of this, my pace varied greatly ... which was absolutely fine.  It wasn't my goal to go out and set the asphalt on fire.  It was my goal to run, feel good, feel strong, and pain free.

I ran with a smile on my face, a big, big smile.  I had only mild discomfort and could tell that much healing had occurred.  I easily dipped below a 7 minutes pace when I asked my body to do this.  I chose grass and dirt as often as I could.  I finished a 6 1/2 mile run and my leg was relatively fine afterwards.  My forefoot strike and push off was tentative, but that may have been my unintended effort to protect my achilles.  I bit of icing and there was no lingering soreness.  This was a huge day for which I am very grateful.  The next challenge is to see how I fare on the track.  That happens tomorrow on the soft city college oval.

I will continue to cross train every other day, and run quality work outs every other day.  In this manner I plan to heal and train.  I am thankful for my friend "the pool" and am particularly thankful for the masters coach, my husband John, who made sure the sessions were fierce and demanding. 

It's been cold and windy.  Thankfully there was that ray of sunshine in which to wait.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Embrace the Chance for Variety

People who don't like to run think running is boring.  People who like to run think everything else is boring.  But ... variety is never boring.  So a little swimming here, an aqua-run there; throw in a hilly bike ride, and you have a great week of training.

Trusting that everything I do will help keep me fit, I have actually began to enjoy the cross-training.  I must admit that the initial incessant H2O running got old real fast, but since then I have offset those runs with hard swims, and an occasional hard bike ride. 

I actually have found the most ideal (for me!) hill repeat route for my bike rides.  As far as cycling goes, I offer no apologies for any offense I may cause by saying I find minimal joy and benefit from a long, moderately paced ride.  I'm a runner which means I want my heart beating hard the WHOLE time.  Do not let me coast, and put no stop lights in my path.  So when I ride, I maximize the benefit by doing hill repeats.  I love going uphill and hate going downhill.  I am a total wimp when it comes to the decline and my hands wear out from brake overuse.  So the best possible hill repeat route for me would be a nice, long, hard, steep incline (the kind that makes your legs quiver at the crest) followed by a moderate, straight decline which requires little use of brakes.  And I found it.  So now I have this totally cool hill repeat route and it is only a mile from my home.

My swimming speed has increased over the past three weeks because I am putting full and complete effort into it and have been doing multiple sessions of swim sprinting.  My goal with each workout is to max out my effort and ability, leaving it all in the water.  On Sunday (for example), John and I swam the following:  600 meters (Swim, pull, kick) warm up; 6 x 50 full on sprint (about 45 sec recovery between each); 6 x 100 full on sprint (40 to 45 sec recovery); 6 x 50 full on sprint again; 3 x 100 full on sprint.  This was followed by 300 meters of kicking and 300 meters of pulling.  I can't seem to get around the fact that sprinting and putting in full effort intervals gives me the greatest workout in the absence of my running.

So the variety has been nice, but I remain beggingly hopeful that all of this is enough.  I have three weeks remaining to my commitment not to run, and at the end of those weeks I have to be healed enough to begin running again in order to be on schedule for the Masters World Champs.  No time to waste and a lot of work to do.